Mazda and Manhood Gone
Jon finally got rid of that
ridiculous hatchback, but he
never really got to say goodbye.
Theo takes over where Charlie
took off last year, answering all
of your holiday queries.
Bockine 2006 - A Virtual Christmas Missive
|Christmas Expectations Scaled Back
IOWA CITY, IA (AP) - Christmas festivities and holiday
celebrations are elevating in society every year, it seems.
However, due to space constraints, time constraints, and sanity
constraints, local residents Jon & Cristin Bock have decided to
"take things down a notch" this year, according to sources.
"When we put a real christmas tree in here over the last
couple years, it literally took up half of our living room!" remarked
Cristin. "Plus, Theo seems to want to eat just about everything,
and I can just envision him stuffing a glass ornament into his right
mainstem bronchus. Wouldn't that be festive?"
Instead of the traditional 6-8 foot live frazier fir that the Bocks
have installed for the month of December in past years, they now
have an incredibly tacky 3 foot plastic tree with multicolored
lights, purchased from the Menards in Iowa City for $22.
"Those lights came pre-installed - it's a plug-n'-go sorta thing.
And you gotta love the cheezy flocking!" stated Jonathan, father
Charlie Bock, age 3, sulks near his totally lame
Christmas tree, purchased at Menards.
Charlie Bock applies glitter to foam cut-outs of
traditional christmas images, trying to inject some
Christmas Spirit into the Bock Household
In an attempt to "Christmas-Up" the lame tree, Cristin had
Charlie make his own ornaments for the tree using foam cut-outs
and glitter pens. The craft exercise proved to be just what the tree
needed, adding some childish charm to the otherwise obtunded
When asked what might happen in the future, Jonathan
added, "While we're living in this house, it seems pretty unlikely
that we'll have a real tree again. You can only pull so many pine
needles out of a diaper before you just give up. Perhaps when I
finally finish residency and fellowship (scheduled for Summer,
2009!) we'll do things the right way again. We'll be here in Iowa
City for another 18 months or so, and then I think we'll just pack
this tacky thing into a box and take it to Nashville with us for my
fellowship in Laryngology and Care of the Professional Voice at
Vanderbilt University. Then, when we finally finish that year, we'll
maybe look into a real tree again. Until then, it's grinch city.
Theo Bock, 19 months, had no comment for this article, aside
from some pronounced drooling and babbling.
Charlie and Theo portend the
future, giving you their
predictions for the coming year.
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God bless you all, and we wish
you the best for 2007.
Cristin & Jonathan Bock
1031 Cambria Court
Iowa City, IA 52246